Tag Archives: love

Just one wish

written by Colette Merrill

If you were given just one wish, and that is the only wish that you would ever get in your life, what would be your one wish? Would it be for glamour, happiness, money, power?

I know what I would ask for; I would ask to be given the same opportunity that Adam and Eve had. If you stop to think about this, what would that exactly entail? Well, according to the story of creation, Adam was created first, and Eve was made from Adam’s rib, and she was presented to him. They were told they were husband and wife. He was so happy that he said: “At last, this is the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones.” He was grateful to have a mate to keep him company and be a complement to him. Continue reading Just one wish

My Sweet, Charming, Man

I haven’t written in a while and, I thought it is about time for something else to be added to my poorly neglected blog. My attention and my heart now belong to a charming, energetic man who I adore. It feels strange to me. After all, being married for 30 years, and never had any interest in another man. After Bill died, I never thought that I could ever be interested in someone else again nor was I looking. Wow, was I in for a big, wonderful surprise? I feel as if I am about to embark on an exciting life adventure.
Yes, I did love my husband very much but it is time to move on. My man is very attentive, loving, kind, forgiving and genuinely the same man he presents to the world. Everyone loves him. I was surprisingly drawn to him quickly, and like a magnet with a strong pull, his power drew me directly to him. Of course, I am not trying to get away and have no interest in leaving.

Continue reading My Sweet, Charming, Man

Bill and I

 

 

Below is the last picture I took of Bill before he got really sick. In this picture, he looked contented and peaceful. He was just glad that I was there so he could hold me again. From here his final nose dive. From this time on, he was not my husband. I didn’t know the man this mental illness turned him into.

He weighed about 140 lbs so far and used to weigh 188. He turned into a very different man, pushing everyone away and hitting some people including me. These are the days I went home and cried. Continue reading Bill and I

Remember

The word “Remember” can invoke many thoughts to each of us. You may even wonder where to begin. I’m sure that each of us could write a book on our own memories. I’m only thinking of the first thing that this precious word makes me want to write. Continue reading Remember

Difficult Apology

There’s a program here that gives a prompt. That is to help writers get their thoughts running again. Now, you may use these single words for that purpose,  just for practice, or you may do them for fun.

I wrote a daily prompt a while ago that was on the word apology. I began by saying that an apology that consists of a short statement such as “Oh, sorry ’bout that” is an unacceptable apology. When an offense is committed against a person it becomes a personal offense. A personal offense deserves a personal apology. Sometimes an offender doesn’t realize that they have offended or hurt someone. Continue reading Difficult Apology

Dance, Dance, Dance

Dance? Why, Thank You Sir

When I saw a flyer sitting on the counter at the nursing station one day while I was waiting for Bill to get ready, I just knew this would be something Bill and I would be interested in going to. There was going to be a shindig at the nursing home. Everyone and their families were invited. There would be a Country Western Band from 2-4pm. A petting zoo would be set up between 4-6pm which consisted of a skunk, kangaroo, porcupine, camel, capybara, and some other more common animals to our part of the world. Continue reading Dance, Dance, Dance

End of phase

End of retirement phase

 

Along with dementia comes a loss of many things in our lives. When one party is sick, and the other has dementia, the medial bills stack up fast on the credit cards. With medical and bills piled up, something has to give.

Therefore, another phase of our lives ends after retirement. We had to sell our beautiful four-bedroom home on five acres. One reason was the medical bills that stacked up leading us to bankruptcy which put an end to our good credit we had at the time. Alzheimer’s had resided with my mother for 15 years by now. Dementia had been diagnosed in my husband Bill’s life. No more trips, no more dropping everything and going somewhere. Yes, the carefree phase of our lives had slammed the door quickly.

We had entered a new phase. It was one of high medical debt, and maxed out credit cards. There was no end in sight to this new phase either, especially after I fell and broke my shoulder. Necessity left me with five surgeries in the first year alone. My mother had to be moved to a nursing center and I still needed to be with my mom often. My mom needed me in these last of her days, even if she didn’t recognize me. I had to be sure that she still was taken care of properly. I had to take her laundry home and wash it because her clothes disappeared when they went to the laundry there. Dementia in the first stage was waiting at home for me.

It does sound like I’m whining, but I’m not. My mom died a few years ago. My husband’s dementia is in the second stages, but I don’t mind. Our bills are under control and we now live in a one-bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t say that life is good, but for me it is. I still have my husband home with me. I rejoice each day that we are able to communicate and be understood by each other. That is a joy in my life.

In the early years of our marriage, he had to care for me. He did it so lovingly and never complained. He was there for each medical emergency, and each surgery. Now it is my privilege to care for him. I hope that I can do that with the same love and gentleness that he has done for me all these years. So now begins the final phase of our lives and I will still thank our heavenly father for the Kingdom we pray for, the Kingdom that will rule over the entire earth, (Rev 21:4) and tells of no more death or tears.

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Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s?

Have you ever wondered if there is a difference between Alzheimer’s and Dementia? Does it even matter? Why should you care?

A few specialists say there are no distinctions and they utilize both Alzheimer’s and Dementia equally. Some specialists find there are a couple of contrasts yet say they all end up in the phase of Alzheimer’s so it doesn’t make a difference what it is called. In the two articles in Lifescript.com, and ALZ.org there are varying opinions.

Alzheimer’s sickness is the most widely recognized reason for extreme mental deterioration (dementia) in the elderly. It has been evaluated that 30% to half of the individuals more than 85 years of age experience the ill effects of this condition.

Continue reading Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s?

Personification or Epitome

Epitome

Lately, I haven’t been feeling very worthy of anything, including approval by God. When I was a child, the Church was something that was always important to me. As a child, I believed that church was the only place to go that would bring us near to our Heavenly father. I took catechism classes and studied hard to ensure that I would pass the questions that were asked of a person before they could partake of communion. I was probably 8 or 9 years old.

I had finally graduated and was now able to take communion. I just knew that God was smiling down at me because I put a lot of effort into this endeavor. Then first Sunday that I was able to take communion, I awoke to about 8 inches of snow. I cried and couldn’t stop. The roads were impassable on our end of the street and I really wanted to go to church.

My mother called the minister and asked him if he was going to have services that morning. When he told her he wasn’t planning on it… Continue reading Personification or Epitome

Now the Final Phase

Phase

So another phase of my life ends. We had to sell our beautiful four bedroom home on five acres. One reason was the medical bills that stacked up and the good credit we had at the time. Alzheimer’s had resided with my mother for 12 years by now. Dementia had been diagnosed. No more trips, no more dropping everything and going somewhere. Yes, the carefree phase of our lives had shut the door quickly.

We had entered a new phase. It was one of high medical debt, and maxed out credit cards. There was no end in sight to this new phase either, especially after I fell and broke my shoulder. Five surgeries if the first year alone. My mother had to be moved to a nursing center and I still needed to be with my mom often. She still needed me. I had to be sure that she was taken care of properly. I had to take her laundry home and wash it because her clothes disappeared when they went to the laundry there. Dementia in the first stage was waiting at home for me.

It does sound like I’m whining, but I’m really not. My mom died a few years ago. The dementia is in the late fourth stage, but I don’t mind. Our bills are under control and we now live in a one bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t say that life is good, but for me it is. I still have my husband home with me. I rejoice each day that we are able to communicate and be understood by each other. That is a joy in my life.

In the early years of our marriage, he had to care for me. He did it so lovingly, and never complained. He was there for each medical emergency, and each surgery. Now it is my privilege to care for him. I hope that I can do that with the same love and gentleness that he has done for me all these years. So now begins the final phase of our lives and I will still thank our heavenly father for His Kingdom. The Kingdom we pray for, the Kingdom that will rule over the entire earth. (Rev 21:4) Tells of no more death or tears.