Category Archives: what to do

Not much difference

This will be a shorter post because I have been tending to Bill. I let this go a long time because of that, but I will be catching up soon I hope.

Let’s see, I left him at the memory ward, which was not necessary for Bill to be there, but I needed a break from the frenzied life we had been living. With all the doors slamming shut, and only small windows opening, I needed the break. Therefore, when I left him there, I went to NE, then Denver. I visited with old friends, but by the time I got home ten days later, I needed to rest up. Continue reading Not much difference

The Flying Fork

 

When my stepdad came into the picture, I was about 11 years old. There were five of us kids, four girls, and one boy. My older sister was eight years older than I was and she had just left home the year before when she turned 18. She joined the W.A.C.S to get out and away from home.

Jack asked us if he could marry our mom which I was very impressed with and the four of us said yes even though my brother didn’t fall in love with him like the rest of us did. He came from money but drank it all in his early years. He was broke and just out of jail when he met my mom. They met at an AA meeting and he fell in love with her. Continue reading The Flying Fork

Retirement ends

End of retirement phase

 

Therefore, another phase of our lives ends after retirement. We had to sell our beautiful four-bedroom home on five acres. One reason was the medical bills that stacked up leading us to bankruptcy which put an end to our good credit we had at the time. Alzheimer’s had resided with my mother for 15 years by now. Dementia had been diagnosed in my husband Bill’s life. No more trips, no more dropping everything and going somewhere. Yes, the carefree phase of our lives had slammed the door quickly.

We had entered a new phase. It was one of high medical debt, and maxed out credit cards. There was no end in sight to this new phase either, especially after I fell and broke my shoulder. Necessity left me with five surgeries in the first year alone. My mother had to be moved to a nursing center and I still needed to be with my mom often. My mom needed me in these last of her days, even if she didn’t recognize me. I had to be sure that she still was taken care of properly. I had to take her laundry home and wash it because her clothes disappeared when they went to the laundry there. Dementia in the first stage was waiting at home for me.

It does sound like I’m whining, but I’m not. My mom died a few years ago. My husband’s dementia is in the second stages, but I don’t mind. Our bills are under control and we now live in a one-bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t say that life is good, but for me it is. I still have my husband home with me. I rejoice each day that we are able to communicate and be understood by each other. That is a joy in my life.

In the early years of our marriage, he had to care for me. He did it so lovingly and never complained. He was there for each medical emergency, and each surgery. Now it is my privilege to care for him. I hope that I can do that with the same love and gentleness that he has done for me all these years. So now begins the final phase of our lives and I will still thank our heavenly father for the Kingdom we pray for, the Kingdom that will rule over the entire earth, (Rev 21:4) and tells of no more death or tears.

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I never put much stock in the comments that people make. Oh wait, I need to say that if people don’t make sincere, or personal comments on something you have written, then there is not a grain of truth, and their comments are insincere.

What’s wrong with stopping and really looking at the photo, article, the way someone is dressed, or whatever you are ready to make a comment? If you do that, then you won’t give comments like, “Good job” or a canned comment such as ones found on WordPress Blogs which this one is and say; “John and Susie think your story was awesome. Now check out their sites and see if you like them just as much.” Sorry folks, I trash most of them. If you are going to compliment someone on something you like, write something. You are supposed to be a writer …. write something.

How about something such as. “Wow, that article stunk. I didn’t like the part about you telling someone to write what they liked and didn’t like.”  Or something like “I love the post on “Fork.” I found that funny and sad at the same time. My stepdad was a good one too.” Now, those are comments that mean something to a writer, a photographer, or any other artist. What is even better would be something like, “Loved the Face of Dementia, my mom had Alzheimer’s and it is sad to watch them go downhill. I give a like and a thumbs up to that difficult subject. More people need to know the stages so they know what they are in for if a loved one has dementia.”

Now, in the second paragraph there is not a grain of truth in that comment. I find it offensive and I would rather they not comment at all.

If you are going to give a comment whether it be a sincere positive one, or a sincere not so good comment, at least make it sincere. Then the one that reads that comment can either feel good and know what their audience thinks or if not enjoyed and told why then the one the comment is meant for; knows what they need to put a more positive spin on. At least then, the comment will have a grain of truth if not a square foot of grains.

Oh, the heck with it. Only write sincere good ones. Who wants to hear sincere bad comments anyway? Seriously, give your sincere comments on something positive or something that touched your heart, or you agree with. That is encouraging to all writers no matter how long or how famous they are. I only hope one thing. I hope I have never written one insincere comment to anyone for anything.