Category Archives: not convinced

End of phase

End of retirement phase

 

Along with dementia comes a loss of many things in our lives. When one party is sick, and the other has dementia, the medial bills stack up fast on the credit cards. With medical and bills piled up, something has to give.

Therefore, another phase of our lives ends after retirement. We had to sell our beautiful four-bedroom home on five acres. One reason was the medical bills that stacked up leading us to bankruptcy which put an end to our good credit we had at the time. Alzheimer’s had resided with my mother for 15 years by now. Dementia had been diagnosed in my husband Bill’s life. No more trips, no more dropping everything and going somewhere. Yes, the carefree phase of our lives had slammed the door quickly.

We had entered a new phase. It was one of high medical debt, and maxed out credit cards. There was no end in sight to this new phase either, especially after I fell and broke my shoulder. Necessity left me with five surgeries in the first year alone. My mother had to be moved to a nursing center and I still needed to be with my mom often. My mom needed me in these last of her days, even if she didn’t recognize me. I had to be sure that she still was taken care of properly. I had to take her laundry home and wash it because her clothes disappeared when they went to the laundry there. Dementia in the first stage was waiting at home for me.

It does sound like I’m whining, but I’m not. My mom died a few years ago. My husband’s dementia is in the second stages, but I don’t mind. Our bills are under control and we now live in a one-bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t say that life is good, but for me it is. I still have my husband home with me. I rejoice each day that we are able to communicate and be understood by each other. That is a joy in my life.

In the early years of our marriage, he had to care for me. He did it so lovingly and never complained. He was there for each medical emergency, and each surgery. Now it is my privilege to care for him. I hope that I can do that with the same love and gentleness that he has done for me all these years. So now begins the final phase of our lives and I will still thank our heavenly father for the Kingdom we pray for, the Kingdom that will rule over the entire earth, (Rev 21:4) and tells of no more death or tears.

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I never put much stock in the comments that people make. Oh wait, I need to say that if people don’t make sincere, or personal comments on something you have written, then there is not a grain of truth, and their comments are insincere.

What’s wrong with stopping and really looking at the photo, article, the way someone is dressed, or whatever you are ready to make a comment? If you do that, than you won’t give comments like, “Good job” or a canned comment such as ones found on WordPress Blogs which this one is and say; “John and Susie think your story was awesome. Now check out their sites and see if you like them just as much.” Sorry folks, I trash most of them. If you are going to compliment someone on something you like, write something. You are supposed to be a writer …. write something.

How about something such as. “Wow, that article stunk. I didn’t like the part about you telling someone to write what they liked and didn’t like.”  Or something like “I love the post on “Fork.” I found that funny and sad at the same time. My step dad was a good one too.” Now, those are comments that mean something to a writer, a photographer, or any other artist. What is even better would be something like, “Loved the Face of Dementia, my mom had Alzheimer’s and it is sad to watch them go downhill. I give a like and a thumbs up to that difficult subject. More people need to know the stages so they know what they are in for if a loved one has dementia.”

Now, the second paragraph there is not a grain of truth in that comment. I find it offensive and I would rather they not comment at all.

If you are going to give a comment whether it be a sincere positive one, or a sincere not so good comment, at least make it sincere. Then the one that reads that comment can either feel good and know what their audience thinks, or if not enjoyed and told why, then the one the comment is meant for; knows what they need to put a more positive spin on. At least then, the comment will have a grain of truth if not a square foot of grains.

Oh, the heck with it. Only write sincere good ones. Who wants to hear sincere bad comments anyway? Seriously, give your sincere comments on something positive or something that touched your heart, or you agree with. That is encouraging to all writers no matter how long or how famous they are. I only hope one thing. I hope I have never written one insincere comment to anyone for anything.