Still My Charming Man

             Still My Charming Man

 

I am sometimes overwhelmed by the fact that he is even in my life. His capacity for love seems unending and his forgiveness for mistakes is truly amazing; when he forgives, the mistakes are totally forgotten and the subject is closed. When I used to sit down and write the qualities that I would love to see in a prospective marriage mate, I never thought of many of the qualities he possesses. These very ones are what I have needed all my life and I’ve known it but didn’t know how to find a man with them and didn’t believe that I deserved anything this fine, so I never even looked.

Mothers should find some system that works between them and their young daughters to let them see that they have choices in life and they need the tools to make self-serving and wise choices. It is OK to be self-serving in this type of decision making. Help them see not only is there a strategy, but large benefits to writing what you would expect in a lifetime relationship. Help guide them to see what these expectations are before it is too late.

This is a serious problem especially among the teens that are struggling to fit in to society. Poor choices, tears, and I’m sorry’s won’t help the ones that are trapped in an unhappy marriage, or no marriage at all, with babies being raised by children. Relationships are not understood by the young and parents don’t accept the responsibility they have to teach their children self-respect and the need to think ahead of the consequences of their youthful choices.

Unfortunately, that shows how unprepared most of us are when it comes to choosing a marriage partner no matter whether young or older. I never dreamed that this would be so beneficial and even at this age I hadn’t yet done that. At the age of 70 I finally see what should be taught to young girls and I believe it’s their mother’s obligation to show them how to make good choices and why that is so important. I’m not free of guilt; I failed miserably within that state of ignorance to help my own two daughters. I did not have the knowledge of how to choose qualities that make a good marriage partner. Then I had no choice but to watch and learn that my three young grandchildren had fallen prey to that type of life.

Women who are reading this please understand, I am not blaming my own mother for my ignorance. I am a firm believer that once a person grows up, it is time to stop blaming our parents for the way we are and as an adult change the way we look at life in general knowing that we ourselves are responsible for our own lives. If one is not able to cope with the past, then maybe it is time to get a little help with this from a therapist, friend, trusted adult, minister, or within yourself to get past this.

Had our mothers had the foresight to sit us down and had us do this one task that could have made our lives very different they surely loved us enough to have tried. Not only does this make a choice easier but gives a clearer picture of what our future could be, and it gives credibility to the choices one makes and it also shows how you view yourself. You have to know for sure you deserve the best possible start in a new life-long relationship.

If you are one of the many women who does not think of these things because you feel that you do not deserve anyone special, you will or have already settled for whatever comes along. Please recognize that you are not alone, there are thouands of girls in simialr positions. I used to fit this profile some 50 years ago and therefore I made some very poor choices totally believing that I deserved nothing better than what came along. It turned out to be a source of great sadness and a difficult road to travel that was filled with many potholes big enough to swallow one alive; let’s admit it, we have all fallen into more than one in our lifetime.

Names I shall not name, and pictures I shall not show. It is enough for me to shout it from my site that my sweet charming man is mine. When I think of the subjects that we have talked about and the discussions we have had on these subjects, I feel so very happy but still feel unworthy to have him in my life. My charming man knows these things about me and has, by just being himself; shown me I do deserve good things in my life. I have changed and he is behind that change. He is behind all the changes in my beliefs about myself and what life can bring when a man finds you to be his complement and knows that from the heart. It is truly a joy to have a man that loves you as unselfishly as he does. I have never come first in anyone’s life until now. There is little chance that a man such as he will fall into your lap from out of nowhere. I suggest that a list of things that would make you comfortable in a relationship should be made anyway. Keep telling yourself that you deserve these things you really do and don’t settle for anything else.

When I think about him, I find him not only charming but a bit on the charismatic side also. There are so many things that I love about him. My sweet charming man was raised in a home filled with nothing but love and encouragement. He fell into my lap at a time in my life when I had become a widow a year before. I was not looking for anyone and had no intention of ever being interested in another man, never mind getting married again. In a very short time he swept me off my feet and he has helped change me into something good, believing in myself once again. He has helped me see that I do deserve good things in life, everyone does and that includes YOU.

 

 

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